Caught the eye

What do you carry on your soul?

Does it talk to your heart?

NOAH

A mais estranha de todas. 

Aquela que me deixa Louca!

Aquela que quando tem saudades, 

traz consigo uma lágrima real. 

Aquela que me acorda com beijinhos ou com um grito. 

Aquela que é minha. 

Aquela que me dá cabelos brancos, rugas e sorrisos.
Um bicho especial...

A True fact

I may think to much and feel even more.
Will always carry you around...
It´s a line of a forever magic, no end not even death.
Will carry you around on every breath...
Carry you printed on my heart.
Forever it´s not even enough.
I will carry you.



"Love is a Terrible thing to Hate" somewhere I read it.


And love, I am an Ocean.

Raising a Butterfly 40

My hands need this just like my fool heart.

40

You changed my life, my mind transformed into love. Love the person I´m.
How weird it is to spend all your life wanting to vanish, and one day You just want to live and be happy, and the reason it´s easy "Because You desserve to be happy!"

Manny I have lost over the years, blessed was I to have them in my life.

I already knew that I didn´t knew how to deal with loss. But somehow, sometimes we find ways to escape from what causes us pain, I found work, to my limit. Being focus on the work we lose other small things that life is made of. Like a dinner with a friend, a laught that comes from something stupid, one hug that was not given, love that passes you by, but you just don´t see, because you are blind to something else.
I loved and still love the ones I worked with, I learned with, what a team we made. Dreams are possible.
Some work and don´t make friends, I cannot live side by side without having my heart working, sure I have friends at work, sure there´s some that we love more than others, is it wrong to take care of them, to worry about them? I don´t think so; but I´m an emotional silly woman, with na old soul but a childest heart.
All of this is sometimes enough to keep you going to raise up and go.
But life doesn´t need us in a confortable place, or we don´t grow. If your escape is falling, you will fall over with it.
So I did…
Holding tears for years, realising that all of those tears were fear of losing the ones you love, and the fear of losing one in every year, and in the back of the mind there´s this litle presure saying "Who will be this year?" that torments the mind, the soul and the body. My God why do they go?
One day you just colapse on the right place, with the right person, thanks Ana A..

I´m healing and learning to value who I am. And this is not something stupid, it´s a serious transformation, where you began with 0% of self; and it starts to grow; it´s the eyes of others that sometimes make yours see yourself. Just one sentence on every week pull me up to the middle of self love, and thats incridible. One stranger can pull your soul like noone does. Thank you girl I won you love.

Today its like a cleaning post, a self center post, the most personal one, without running, or faking, this is the cruel me typing.

I look back and I can´t see where did my dreams went, where did all I had to give fall, how manny dreams I killed, how much of me was killed with it?

20 Years ago I was lost on a very dark oul.
I am not in that oul, but also I´m lost on a crossroad, of dutty and life.
The girl that had no dreams is raising, and she is starting to bring them out, how to make them real?
Love gives us the streght, the right vibe to go, but where are the skills that were not trained?
I´m lost and calm, have no idea where to go, but I need to go, somewhere where creation belongs.

Old love came from 20 years ago, it may be the best lie, it could be the best surprise, it could be heaven.
All I know is the ilusion of love, all I know is that I still love that love from ages ago. Also need this to heal.

And let me be honest 40 and with no kids (but with a very cute kitty) in the end it sucks, there I have said it. Some born to have it, others have it in them but wont get it… No need to say more.

Make peace with family, they all have issues but there´s no need to carry them around, it´s like going out with trash, forgive them, and forgive yourself for that choice.

When you learn to see your value, you can´t go back and pretend you don´t have it.  ;)

Blessed be my love...

Perdido

Entre linhas, piscadelas nocturnas ao conhecimento...
Como é belo o ser diferente dos banais, triste a curva da vida que acaba tão cedo...
Alguns génios partem cedo, pelas próprias mãos.
Ao teatro o Homem das ideias, do sarcasmo do ruído incomum, da mente desconstruída, talvez de uma sabecoria infinita...

Já escrevi como louca em tempos!
Os meus rabiscos de hoje, são contas sem fim
Divirto-me de pernas para o ar com os números, as letras (que tristes, dançam na folha).
O calor da alma, do coração de onde vinha o licor da escrita morreu,
Ou fugiu...
Parece que o tempo foge e com ele tudo o resto.

...

Entretanto
sugava com uma fome doentia o suco
como quem suga um amor acabado
chupava com uma sede voraz cada pedaço preso nos lábios
debatia-se a fome, essa fome faminta
que nos entropece o ser
nos deixando nus
vezes sem conta
dormente os lábios que machucam a pele da fruta
por uma obrigação constante do desejo
fustiga toda a boca na ação de aniquilar a peça
de forma a saciar essa fome carnal que alguém traz
entretanto
escorrendo o suco pelo queixo rasgado
misturando os cheiros de um prazer acabado
os olhos brilhantes
desejando mais, mais do mesmo
do mesmo pecado
do mesmo pedaço
do mesmo suco lambuzado
fervilham as fases, rosadas do calor
pelo apetite saciado
entretanto
nas mãos sujas, escorrem os sucos do fruto amassado
doce fruto que as lava por completo
deixando um rasto pegajoso de melaço
por toda ela escorre
a fome morte estampada no rosto
no rosto o prazer prevalece
prevalece sobre qualquer outra coisa
entretanto
há um silencio
a adorar o encanto.